A Huge Thank You to the Panning Community

Let's get personal.

When I first started panning and set up this blog I had been diagnosed with burnout and depression and I was in a really shitty place. There was no energy left in my body and every day was a win if I bothered to take a shower or cook a meal for myself. I frequently forgot or didn't bother to eat, and just as frequently I just binged everything in sight. It all depended on wether my depression or my stress was more prominant that day. I spent my days lying on the couch or in bed mindlessly scrolling my phone or watching netflix. My days consisted of nothing else than simply existing. I had so many thing I wanted to do, but I had no idea where to start and no energy to actually do it even if I figured it out. Surprisingly, all of this changed for the better when I discovered panning. 

Panning became my saviour because panning didn't expect anything from me. I could do everything at my own pace and it was okay if I didn't do it every day. It could wait for the days I had a fuck to give and it didn't suffer from the neglect the days I didn't. It also fit my interests and values perfectly. My love for makeup and creativity was encouraged and so was my desire for minimalism. It was a match made in heaven. Panning and makeup became my self care. When everything else in my life was crashing down and nothing went right I could alwas pull out my makeup drawer and paint my face. It didn't have to look good, it didn't have to be perfect and my bad makeup science didn't actually have to work. I was allowed to be creative without anyone expecting anything from me. Not even myself (which really was a first!). I couldn't believe something like that existed. The fact that I had stumbled upon a group of people who cared more about supporting me than my actual achievements was so foreign to me. It immediately improved my life. So thank you, panners. You're all awesome.

At first I didn't put much effort into my pictures or anything, because I simply just didn't have the energy to bother. That changed as soon as I began to feel a bit better. I realized that the one thing in my life that really made me happy (relationships not included) was my panning journey. It gave me a sense of purpose that I didn't have before. My univesity studies felt meaningless, but for some reason panning didn't. Panning felt like I was actively working towards something I truly cared about; a clutter free and creative life. My interest grew and I started caring more about what I uploaded to instagram. By caring I don't mean that I had to have a certain amount of engagement on a post or else I'd feel bad, but I wanted to be proud of what I uploaded. My feed was supposed to represent my journey, my goals, my personality and me. Because it was, and still is, all me. It amazes me how something so small could give me such a boost on my journey to mental health. But it's quite simple really. Panning gave me some routines and it gave me goals, things I need to not fall down the rabbit hole of depression, but it was also undemanding and didn't cause any stress. If it ever did stress be out, I could easily just choose not to do anything that day. No one suffered from my neglect.

Slowly, but surely I started to dip my feet into the blogging world too. I've always identified as a writer so why the hell didn't I write more? At first I just wrote about the things I got up to at home while I was on sick leave. Most days that was nothing at all so I didn't write, but after a while I started decluttering more and more and I uploaded more and more decluttering posts. But you can only declutter so much when you live in a tiny one bedroom apartment with your partner who isn't as sold on minimalism as you. In the end you will run out of things to declutter if you don't bring any new ones in and even if you do find things to declutter it's very difficult to write a good blog post about that one hair tie that kinda gave up on you yesterday so you decided it was time for it to go unless it also gave you some sort of epiphany. So, I started writing about my main interest instead; panning. Panning was what took up most of my thoughts those days so why not put those thoughts into words for someone else to read? The fact that my blog actually is read by people came as a surprise and it has definitely kept me motivated to keep writing, so again, thank you! Whenever someone DM:s me or leaves a comment on my posts I get so happy. I appreciate it so much and whenever you do you're actively helping my recovery. Its difficult to put into words how grateful I am for all of your continued support. I really love you guys.

Thank You!